Yesterday we were reminded of how God views whining, complaining, and murmuring: all negative. Each of us has had experience with whiners, whether it’s our children, their friends, our friends, or ourselves. Though we discipline youngsters for incessant whining, we rarely abstain ourselves. After all, everybody has a right to vent, don’t they?
God says, “No.”
Sadly, his standard is the opposite of our natural inclinations. To comply with biblical instructions, we have to make a deliberate effort to stop old habits and think in new ways. Just like breaking any bad habit, the tools we need to succeed are fortitude and optimism.
But if that sounds too hard, we do have another choice: to willfully continue whining and complaining, knowing God will discipline us for it. It’s a sure thing he won’t ignore something he knows is bad for us, something that goes contrary to his wisdom. I can almost hear him say, “It’s for your own good, my child,” as he brings down his heavy hand. But if that doesn’t sound appealing, there’s still one other option.
When Nate and I were raising our 7 children, we were no strangers to murmuring, particularly at the dinner table.
- From a 4 year old: “Why do you make us eat peas? I hate ’em.”
- From a 9 year old: “Why can’t we eat with the TV on like normal families do?”
- From a 13 year old: “Why can’t I eat in my room like my friends do?”
- From a 16 year old: “Why do you torture us with family dinners?”
Nate used to say, “For the most part, we don’t drink alcohol, but somehow we end up with whine at every meal.”
Tired of hearing it, he finally came up with something he called the “Complainer Can.” He composed a short explanation and taped it to the outside of an empty hot chocolate container:
- If you gripe and yell when there isn’t any, you owe me a penny.
- If you scream and whine and further repine, you owe me a dime.
- But if you yip and holler, put in a dollar!
Since the children received allowances (1/4th of their age), he knew they “had money” and insisted they pay fines appropriate to their crimes. This helped our dinnertime atmosphere for quite some time, since the kids spent less time complaining and more time trying to catch someone else whining so they’d have to pay a price for it. Of course inflation would have upped those fines quite a bit by now: a penny would be a dollar, a dime would be ten, and a dollar, $100.
So, there are 3 ways to handle whining: self-discipline, no self-discipline, and monetary discipline. The first one starts with difficulty but ends well. The second starts effortlessly but ends in stress. And the last? Maybe if we put those inflated fines into the weekly offering basket instead of The Complainer Can, it would be the most effective approach of all.
“Set an example for the believers… in speech.” (1 Timothy 4:12)